Yes it is definitely feeling like a winter wonderland outside. What with all the sunshine and 70 degree weather. Seriously though, mother nature needs to get it’s act together. Maybe that’s why I’m having a hard time with Christmas this year. It doesn’t feel like it so therefore it can’t be coming up within just a couple of weeks.

When I was younger I used to be the one pushing to get the decorations and the tree up as soon as we were done with Thanksgiving dinner. If it wasn’t up right away I threw hissy fits and was a general pain in the ass till they were up. Now that I’m older though, I still want to get the decorations up but it doesn’t mean that much to me anymore. It’s just a day where we have to put shit up so neighbors and possible visitors don’t think we’re all Scrooge’s. I listen to the Christmas songs and sing along but I don’t belt them out like I used to. The movies now a days are just pathetic mostly because they are all Hallmark feel good movies. Seriously the plot to every one of them is: chick has problem, chick finds man that can help with problem but doesn’t want his help, man helps anyway, they fall in love, they get married. The end. Why can’t they have realistic endings sometimes?

I wanna say it was last year that ruined it all for me. I had to work Christmas Day. My family all was celebrating at the house and I was freaking working. My dad was nice enough to bring me some of the waffles he made for everyone but it didn’t help. All I wanted to do was cry cause they were all doing fun family things and didn’t take into consideration how I wished I could be there with them.

This year I know I’ll have off cause I’m at a different job where I actually get the holidays off which is great and all but I’m still not looking forward to it. Christmas just doesn’t mean as much to me anymore as it used to. I wish I could get the spirit back and be all happy and excited but I can’t. It’s gone.

I know I’ve been a slight Debbie Downer in these past couple of posts but that’s what this time of year does to me. I just get a little sadder and depressed. After New Year’s though I usually perk up cause my birthday is around the corner but this year I realized that I’ll be turning 26. Which isn’t bad I know, I’m still in my 20’s but that’s 2 years till my 10 year high school reunion, and 4 years till I’m 30. I cried when I turned 20. Who knows what I’ll do when I turn 30. Probably just get drunk and pretend it’s not happening. That seems to be a good answer when I’m not feeling up to handling the more adult like things in life.

Anyway, thanks for those that read these things. I know I don’t have very many readers but all 4 of you are great for sticking it out. Make sure  you keep an eye out to see what happens next in the story of a girl named Liz.


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